Hello everyone, my name is Mickey, or maybe Roland, depending on how big the humans think I might be.
Do you remember Roland Rat – the famous character from BBC children’s television in the 1980s? I’m a rodent of indeterminate size, and I am having a wonderful luxurious holiday aboard a sailing boat in Greece. What could be better?
I’m living in splendour under the floor, behind the wall panels and in all sorts of inaccessible places. At night when the humans are sleeping, I come out of my hiding place and inspect the yacht.
For the last few days they have been leaving food out for me. They are trying to catch me, but haven’t succeeded yet. At first they weren’t sure if I was a rodent, or maybe a feline, who stole their bread, so when we were at anchor the other night, they tested this theory by leaving out another slice of bread. Obviously it couldn’t have been a cat who stole the bread this time, so they have now deduced I am either a mouse or a rat. These humans must be clever! Not as clever as me though….
The female human did some internet research and read that it might be possible to catch a mouse by putting food in a tall, shiny sided bucket. Apparently a mouse could jump in for the food, but not be able to climb back up the shiny sides, and would be patiently waiting in the bucket the next morning. HAHAHAHA! Stupid humans. On day 3, they put food in a tall bucket when they went to bed. It was delicious! Some cooked spaghetti, a pice of bread, and a digestive biscuit! Yum yum. More than a skinny super-model would eat in a whole day, and all for me! When the female human got up in the night, I heard her tell the male human that the food had been eaten, but no rodent in the bucket! It was easy-peasy for me to jump out the bucket. I’m getting stronger and bigger now, with all that food they give me….
This morning the humans bought some highly poisonous lethal toxic pellets that are supposed to kill rodents. They are bright blue and look nothing like food, so I’ll be avoiding them, at all costs. They put some poison pellets under the floor by the engine room, and by the waste bin under the galley sink. But I can climb in and out of the waste bin, there’s much nicer food in there. The other night I found some pork chop bones, and an olive. Yum yum!
When the humans went ashore to eat, this evening, they left more food in the bucket, plus two poison pellets. They must think I’m really stupid! I jumped in and out the bucket, ate the left over spanakopita (Greek spinach pie) – it was delicious, I highly recommend it. But of course, I didn’t touch the blue poison pellets, why would I? By the time they got back I was having a little nap in my secret hiding place. I’m so full of food now, after the last four days of feasting, I couldn’t eat another scrap, so I hope they don’t leave anything else for me tonight, it would just be a waste……
I wonder what stupid ideas they will come up with tomorrow? If I get any fatter, I won’t be able to squeeze through those tiny holes under the floor and behind the lockers…….