My husband is still missing…

Don’t worry!  I sort of know where he is.  He’s just not at home for five days…..

Yesterday I told you I was enjoying being home alone this week, while TH (the husband) has gone on a cat-related mission…….

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Artemis our boat cat, on board Fandancer

 

The other thing I will enjoy, is not having to put up with TH’s little ways and habits. I try never complain about these things, but just grit my teeth and know that it’s too late to change him. For example, he seems unable to close any door, especially the front door when he’s been outside, he never pushed it fully closed. Same with the back door when he’s taken the rubbish out. He never remembers to lock doors at night, so I always have to check before I go to bed.

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Don’t forget your keys!

 

He never puts the mugs in the right cupboard, if he’s ever forced to unload the dishwasher.  In fact I prefer to do it, so the crockery and cutlery get put in the right place! And don’t get me started on the way he loads the dishwasher….

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Mugs on the left, glasses on the right!

I won’t miss that half hour in every day when without fail, TH will lose an important item. Either his car key, his phone, a pen, or usually, his glasses. He wanders about from room to room, muttering, looking in places where his glasses would never be. Why would they be in my make up bag? Or in the vegetable rack? They are never there, but usually found in one of his pockets, or in the car. Everyday without fail, we have to go through this routine.  I’m perfect.  I never lose anything, especially my glasses, which cost a lot of money.

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I also won’t miss the fact that he can never remember anything I tell him. This works to my advantage sometimes, but can be very annoying when I have to keep reminding him what day the bins are emptied, how old my daughter is, that the post office shuts at 5.30pm, or what day I look after my grandson. I know it’s not some onset of a deteriorating elderly brain, as he takes pleasure in reminding me that all through his school days, his teachers would complain that he was absent minded and forgetful. You don’t have to live up to this, I tell him! Don’t use that as an excuse! Times and dates mean nothing to TH, but I don’t like him relying on me to keep reminding him, I think he could make more effort if he wanted to!

What sorts of things does your partner usually forget?

 

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Husbands are another species….

 

Different time zones…

Have you ever found that you are in a different time zone to your partner? It seems to be getting worse in our house. Yes, we are retired, and have no specific commitments at the moment, but we seem to be becoming even more of an owl and a lark. I’m not criticising my lovely husband, but he is definitely becoming more of an evening person, while I would prefer to go to bed early and get up as soon as I wake. I don’t know if we’ll ever have breakfast at the same time again!

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Our daily routine goes something like this – I wake around 7.30-8am. Now, I completely understand that some of you will have been up for hours by now, and maybe some are even sitting at their desks or working elsewhere, but that’s just how I am. If my husband was left to sleep, I’m convinced he wouldn’t stir until gone 9 or later. I usually make us a drink – mint tea for me, coffee for him, and he wakes when I bring it upstairs and open the curtains. I drink my tea, have a quick look at my IPad, then by 9 I need to get up and get going – a quick shower, a small breakfast, and I’m ready to do something.

Some days I might just start some boring housework, washing, cooking, or even cleaning if I’m in the mood. Other days I might need to go out in the car somewhere, to a large food store maybe, or just window shopping, or to see a friend, or the library. Sometimes I get back about 11 and husband hasn’t even got out of bed! Should I complain about this? Now, he is a little older than me and has more achy bones than me, and has to take some medications, so I make allowances for this, but I still think half the day is wasted. Or is he just being lazy?

What I have been doing, is to also use these BHGU hours (before husband gets up) to catch up with my sewing, knitting, blogging, emailing etc. But this can cause problems with meal times. Today for instance, it’s 1142am, I have already checked my emails and blogs, been to buy a newspaper, and earlier I made myself a pot of fresh coffee and warmed up a croissant. Husband is just going to have a bath. So his breakfast will be nearer 1215! Goodness, that’s nearly my lunchtime! If I have lunch, it will be something small, generally eaten before 1.30pm. Husband would happily have something at 3.30 in the afternoon! I like to eat my evening meal around 7.30. I find I can’t physically eat much after 8.30. Husband has been known to start cooking his evening meal at 1030pm if I am out, or away somewhere, or having a non-eating day.

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Although we are in our 60s, we have only been married for five years. Both of us had previous marriages of over 25 years, and I guess you just get used to doing things together over time, which is difficult to change. But we certainly aren’t doing much eating together at the moment! Yes, it’s good to have some time to yourself, and I think people should not be forced to do something they don’t want to, but I think we are not really spending the day together as much as I’d like to…….